When we first become parents we unconsciously repeat the patterns of behaviour that we experienced as children: we become both victim and perpetrator. Let me help you clear this baggage once and for all so that you can become the mama, partner and woman that you want to be.
There’s a reason you can’t implement the parenting advice you’ve absorbed through countless podcasts, books and social media posts. And it’s not you. It’s your past.
Because your parents’ approach, their emotional maturity and their capacity to show up for you in the way that you needed them to, has a tremendous impact on the way you view yourself, how you interact with others and whether you view the world as safe or not.
You are struggling to put into practise the parenting theory you are so familiar with because your survival brain is taking over: current triggers stir up past wounds, history keeps you stuck in dysfunctional patterns and your wounded inner child is in the driving seat.
You must heal your past first, before working on your parenting style. But finding ways to navigate this unchartered terrain on your own, can feel scary and overwhelming.
Is this for you?
I am ashamed of how I am reacting to my kids and partner - I often feel out of control and emotionally volatile but I don’t know how to stop
I want to enjoy spending time with my family but find it impossible to relax fully and instead end up doing chores
I find it super challenging to connect or play with my children and end up doing chores instead which makes me feel so guilty
I say yes when I mean to say no and then get resentful that I’m being taken advantage of - I try to please everyone in order to be liked and put everyone else’s needs before my own but I’m sick of it
I feel strapped to a never-ending to-do list—there’s no space or time for me
I am so disconnected from what makes me me and from what I actually want
Anxiety is always there - I’m always waiting to be told I’ve got it wrong or that something bad has happened and it’s exhausting
I don’t feel like an adult. My inner child is always in charge
My partner and I hardly touch each other anymore. Our relationship feels empty. It’s like going through life each day like a robot
I want to worry less about all the things I’m not doing and less about what people think
I know deep down that I cannot continue to tolerate my life as it is
“ I truly believe that inner parenting is the only way to truly heal. Years of therapy never gave me results like this. ”
Your children pick up on your energy far more than they do your words or your actions. And its especially confusing for them if these aren’t in alignment. If you want your children to be able to handle their big feelings, to not feel shame or to judge themselves for their reactions, to feel confident and proud of who they are and to know what they need and how to ask for this to be met, it’s your job to learn how to do all of this yourself, first.
They are part coaching, part cheerleading, part digging deep into your past in order to heal the unprocessed memories and inherited self-limiting beliefs that are unconsciously affecting your present, part reparenting your inner child, part strategy and part somatic process, experiential learning and tools. Together we journey from the shame, self-loathing and isolation that can come with trauma towards a new-found understanding of why you are the way that you are, acceptance of yourself and others, self-compassion and inner peace.
I know how hard you are on yourself.
I know how important it is to you to be a better mother. I understand how much you sacrifice for your kids - every day - even though it never feels like you’re doing enough.
I know that you secretly think everyone else is coping better than you; you feel guilty for not being happier; you are terrified you have already passed on your own trauma.
I get that life as a mama is one big contradiction: that kids bring out both the best and worst in you and that parenting is both exhilarating and exasperating.
Becoming a parent revealed all of my latent childhood trauma. And after having three kids in three years, there were points when I felt they would be better off without me. But, just like you, I knew there had to be a way to no longer feel so broken and toxic. I got the support I needed to release my rage, anxiety and shame, to reparent my wounded inner child and to feel whole and safe enough to show up as the mama, partner and woman I wanted to be.
Now I help others do the same…
“I am so grateful for the validation you gave me. I feel as if you have taken me through a rite of passage: into adulthood, motherhood, intact, aware of the motions of my psyche and my cycle.”
“I feel your strength…it felt as though you broke a thought pattern…really motivated now!”
“I’m astounded at how rounded the process is, how rounded I felt as a result, how full a person, and yes, how much progress was made too…”
“I have shed a lot of anger and resentment and have also been topping up with lots of self-compassion, forgiveness and inner parenting. I can already feel my boundaries are in a WAY different place and I've had a couple of really interesting conversations which I'm pretty sure wouldn't have happened before this process.”
“Just wanted to tell you how utterly buzzing I’m feeling following our coaching series! I learned so much from you and so much about myself. One can’t express in words how amazing a feeling that is! Feeling incredibly, incredibly grateful to you”
“My world is changing. Thank you!”
