There is no-one that I care for more deeply or more fiercely than my three little muskateers (especially when they are asleep and looking angelic), but there have also been times that I couldn’t have cared less, and just wanted to give it all up and run away.
Days during which I felt totally overwhelmed by what I’d created and felt helpless and in despair; desperate for some head-space and to feel back in control of my life.
But I recognise that my three kids have also been my greatest teachers. And because I couldn’t give it all up and run away, I had to face my shadow side and accept the challenge that motherhood presented: to grow into my best self.
Each of my children has, in their own unique way, held up a mirror to my potential: I have honed my strength, honesty and resilience and have had to work through my many neuroses and limiting beliefs.
They have gifted me with a degree of compassion, empathy and unconditional love that I hadn’t realised I was worthy enough to give or receive. And they have also been the catalyst that pushed me into letting go a little: being more vulnerable, spontaneous and trusting in life.
AND THROUGH
BECOMING A PARENT,
I HAVE HAD TO CONFRONT MY OWN CHILDHOOD TRAUMA.
So who am I outside of being a mama?
I am a European mongrel - part French, Spanish, Austro-Hungarian, Scottish and English - whose wanderlust has taken me to live and work in some of the most beautiful and cosmopolitan hubs in the world (Hong Kong, Paris, Bali, Goa, Geneva, London, Barcelona and Cambridge).
Having kids didn’t stop me, and in 2016 we spent a whole year on a SE Asian travel odyssey, and in 2019, we decamped to the Costa Brava in order to nurture my Catalan roots.
My career choices have been just as varied, including stints in fine wine, corporate events, boutique hotels, merchant banking, auctioneering, luxury goods, marketing and the energy drinks industry.
But it hasn’t always been easy.
fOR MOST OF MY LIFE,
I HAVE BEEN
SEARCHING FOR
SOMETHING. AND
SUCCESS WASN’T iT.
Working hard and being rewarded for it seemed easier than doing life. Achievements were black and white - I knew where I stood - whereas in day-to-day life I was terrified of getting it wrong. So I smashed out the A grades, got into one of the UK’s leading public schools, attended two of Europe’s most high-profile universities and in my first job as a wine specialist, won a prestigious award, published a book, and featured in the Who’s Who of Wine for Asia.
But on the inside, I was a mess: a misaligned marriage, a chronic eating disorder and years of pent up anxiety and anger resulted in depression and divorce all before I reached 30.
When I became a mama, the feelings continued to intensify. Keeping up appearances was exhausting. And my only constant was fear: fear of a messy house, of getting something ‘wrong’, of putting on weight, of not having enough sleep, of not having enough time, of letting things go, of not being successful, of being too successful, of showing vulnerability, of not being liked, of receiving help, of being authentic…
Until I took the plunge and confronted my past: I began to acknowledge the unresolved trauma from my childhood and to nurture my ‘inner child’.
I started to change how I was showing up in life:
I slowed down, I gave myself permission to rest, I connected with Nature, I listened to my menstrual cycle, I confided in my journal, I shared my vulnerability with supportive women, I listened to my body, I tamed my inner critic, I re-created healthy boundaries and surrounded myself only with people who made me feel good about myself. I welcomed all of my emotions and allowed myself to truly feel them, I followed my intuition, I voiced my needs, I practised self-care, I started to love myself, I stopped needing to be perfect, I healed my past.
And slowly, I started to feed my deep craving for validation, attention and love. I started to feel safe.
I BEGAN TO FEEL FREE...
And now, having always felt at ease in many places but never truly at home, I have finally found what I was looking for: my sense of self.
I have found my calling - as a psychodynamic coach for mums, supporting other women to find the commitment and courage to parent their ‘inner children’ and claim their adult voice - and I have found my ‘tierra’ - a home in the forested hills and medieval villages of Catalunia, surrounded by the powerfully grounding energy of the mountains and the sea.
I feel whole.
You too deserve to feel like this. Are you ready to join me?
Qualifications & Professional Training
Academic Qualifications:
MA Hons Oxon (Philosophy & Mod Lang), Wadham College, Oxford University, UK
Professional Training:
Qualified Life Coach with the BYCA (course certified and approved by the International Coaching Federation - Coaching Coach Education category)
Associate member of European Mentoring & Coaching Council to whose Code of Ethics I subscribe
Certified Clinical Trauma Specialist (Arizona Trauma Institute)
Trauma, Attachment and Eating Disorders (Arizona Trauma Institute)
Level 6 Leading Equality & Diversity and Managing Organisational Culture (Chartered Management Institute)
Other Self-development Courses completed:
Jungian Shadow work – Innerwork I and II (Deborah Chan)
Initiation into the Sacred Feminine (Jewels Wingfield)
Healing the Mother Wound (Bethany Webster)
Sacred Circle Emergence (Sora Surya No)
The Shaman’s Pathway (Simon Buxton)
Cauldron of Pearls Feminine Leadership Training (Jewels Wingfield)
Business Accelerator Programme (Allia Serious Impact)
“Lavinia knows that radical self-honesty and self-love are the path to the deepest transformation, particularly for women who are mothers.
She is one of those rare coaches who is doing her own deep work and in turn, can support her own clients through the uncomfortable places they must go to be the women they are meant to be - with strength, courage, and authenticity.”
— Bethany Webster (writer, speaker, coach, Healing the Mother Wound
I have personally witnessed a huge transformation over the years since I first met Lavinia. The work she must have done to be operating from such awareness and power now is commendable. I honestly can’t think of anyone better qualified to coach other women to realise their power and potential post motherhood. Lavinia is powerful and yet very compassionate, intuitive, kind, caring and understanding. She understands at the mental, emotional and physical levels of consciousness, what it means to be a woman in today’s modern madness. What a glorious gift to the world she is, and I have absolutely no hesitation at all in recommending her services. I wish her and all the fortunate women that get to work with her tremendous success.
— Mark Karlsson, Your Spiritual Life Coach
