Unlock the Conscious Parent within by
Healing Your
Inner Child
A deeply transformative, 3-step journey that takes you from reactivity, anger and anxiety, to calm, presence and joy.
Do any of these statements resonate...?
“I've struggled all my life with low self-esteem. I'm a high-achieving perfectionist with what looks like a dream existence from the outside, but I am so tired of all the effort it takes to keep all the plates spinning.”
“I want to understand and be able to help my daughter better, without being triggered by her strong feelings.”
“I want to stop taking responsibility for my husband, to be kinder to myself and feel that I deserve to rest and do things for my own enjoyment.”
“I think I might have lots of unresolved sadness about my own childhood but struggle to know what to do about that or how to help move things from my conscious awareness to my inner beliefs.”
“I want to be the loving, calm parent I see myself as being in my head.”
“My reactions toward my loving, sweet, three-year-old boy seemingly come out of nowhere and leave me feeling absolutely terrible about myself and what I am modeling for him. I feel so lost.”
“My parents were yellers, used physical discipline, and didn't tolerate disobedient behaviour. While generally loving and well-meaning, they did not apply the parenting approach I swore I'd take with my children one day. However, when my kids came into their toddler years, they started behaving in ways that would trigger me and I would react like my mom did (screaming, angry, cold, threatening) - the things I hated as a child and swore I would never do.”
“I don't have healthy relationship models in my own parents, so I often feel unequipped to parent my two daughters in an emotionally supportive way.”
“I feel disconnected from my partner, totally alone and unable to talk to him about anything.”
“My mother has been emotionally abusive and manipulative my entire life and I'm trying to figure out how I can navigate this relationship going forward, allowing my children to have some sort of relationship with their grandmother, but also establishing healthy boundaries for myself and working through some unresolved trauma from my own childhood.”
“Even though I know my kids' behaviour is developmentally appropriate, I have difficulty managing my reaction. I know how I want to respond but actually doing it in the moment is so much more challenging. I feel like I'm failing.”
“I find myself getting so frustrated and annoyed with things that really are inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. Even in situations where it’s warranted to be upset, I don't like how I react. I want to be a calmer, more in-control person, not just with my kids but with my husband and in general.”
“I cannot be present in my life or find joy. I feel uncomfortable around my kids like I’m not fun or enough for them and I feel guilt and fear when I’m not with them.”
“I want more than anything to be a good mom and a loving support for my girls but instead, I get triggered and I’m not the steady and consistent parent I want to be. I’m sad and angry. I need help to clear my childhood trauma.”
“When anyone has big feelings I want to shut down and still feel like a child myself. I keep wanting and waiting for someone to come and take care of me. I’ve done so much work from therapy to psychadelics but I still can’t seem to heal that inner child that never got cared for or protected. I feel so unloved.”
If so, you are not alone in feeling this way and wanting more: to be less reactive, calmer, to connect more deeply with your kids, to experience more joy…
AND (MORE IMPORTANTLY) IT IS NOT ALL YOUR FAULT.
The reason that your big feelings get in the way of you holding space for your kids is because they are old emotions dating back to your childhood.
You were unable to process these at the time because you weren’t psychologically evolved enough to do so. And you couldn’t express them because you were afraid of being punished or rejected by your primary caregivers if you did.
So all the old anger, shame, resentment, grief, frustration or sadness you felt as a child or adolescent - but couldn’t show - got shoved back in. And it’s been accumulating ever since.
Shoving these emotions down was the right thing to do at the time - you needed to belong to the family unit to survive and therefore learnt to put the family ‘rules’ first.
But these old feelings from your past haven’t gone away. They are still ‘stuck’ in your body, waiting to be processed consciously.
And so when something happens to or around you that reminds you of your past, they are stirred up in you once again. And you are taken back to being that child/adolescent/young adult whose parents didn’t have the capacity to meet her needs.
In short, your past is hijacking your present.
Now imagine how it would feel to...
Love yourself again without relying on external validation, no longer need to be perfect, be able to stop people-pleasing and overstepping your boundaries, stop second-guessing and finally believe in yourself, feel enough and be able to trust that things are going to be ok.
Parent in a calm way instead of being subsumed by your overwhelm and frustration, to be able to respond to your children wholeheartedly rather than react from your wounded inner child, to no longer want to run away or busy yourself with chores instead of being present.
Heal your inner child so that she is no longer in the driving seat of your life, to know what she needs when she is feeling scared or alone and how to soothe her back to a place of safety, to step into an adult relationship with your parents instead of needing them to be and act a certain way for you to feel ok.
Hear and trust your body so that you can meet its needs in the moment, break old patterns, know which course of action is best for you and create new ways of responding to people and events, instead of getting caught up in the over-thinking and over-analysing that lead you to confusion, indecision and stuckness.
This could be you
“I feel as though I have more control over my life, like I am in the driver’s seat. Prior to the course, I was so easily triggered and overwhelmed by life. I have more patience for my kids and more compassion for myself. I feel like I got to know who I truly am through this work. I surprised myself the most by how vulnerable I could be. I expected to be more of an observer and l ended up being more of a participant because I felt safe to do so. The biggest takeaway for me was realizing that I am stronger than my anxiety and braver than my fear. I have the strength within myself to conquer anything. I just needed to find it.”
— Rosie
“Before joining the programme, I was feeling very depressed and was struggling with anxiety over the way in which I was connecting with my daughter.
Since then, a lot in my life has improved – it helped me to unload the pressure that had built up inside me and to realise that I focus almost exclusively on making my daughter happy.
I now know that helping myself is the most important thing that I can do rather than waiting for someone else to fix me.
The course was great value!”
— Julie
“When I started the course, my ‘inner critic’ was way too loud and was really hindering me. It was a mental block that seemed to be on an endless loop.
Really sitting with this and looking at where that comes from has been illuminating, and created some positive movement forward.
I noticed it was really effective in terms of my confidence in getting back to work after being a stay-at-home mom, and since our course started I have picked up (and completed) 2 consulting gigs, one of which the client has come back and asked for additional proposals for more work!!”
— Cindy
Making Peace with Your Past is the in-depth, signature, holistic healing programme that will free you from the pain of your childhood...
…so that you can be the conscious, respectful and gentle mama that you want to be.
You gain life-time access to:
The Programme
A signature 3-step process featuring: 6 hours of content-packed, easy-to-digest video tutorials, 10 core modules filled with experiential as well as intellectual learning approaches, downloadable transcripts of each lesson, printable worksheets for every tool, journalling prompts, mental and somatic exercises to practise in your own time, easy-to-reference lesson summaries and homework guidelines, suggested questions and topics for further reflection or sharing with the community.
The Private Community
A moderated, private, member's-only, community platform that creates a safe container for compassionate, peer-to-peer support as you navigate your way from the shame, emotional volatility, self-loathing and isolation that can arise from trauma, towards the self-compassion, acceptance, inner peace and belonging that comes from being part of a group of inspirational women that share a common goal and driver: to heal in order to be the very best mamas they can be.
The Live Support
2* live, video-off, group coaching support sessions/month, creating a safe, trauma-informed space for you to celebrate positive shifts in your parenting, gain insights into overcoming any resistance that has come up, be witnessed lovingly in your pain - knowing that it is shared by others - or simply experience the transformative power of hearing your story reflected in those of others' whilst feeling held by a community of mamas who are on the same healing journey.
(*subject to demand and scheduling requirements)
Mama Success Stories
“I’m finally allowing myself to be my most authentic self. I’m understanding things that I never would have seen before. I was doing everything I could to be validated and accepted by others because little me always needed that. I can’t thank you enough for this journey.”
— Caitlin
“I always thought that to be the best mum I could be, I had to give, give, give. Everything was about sacrificing me because I’ve always sacrificed me. Now I realise that I’ve never nourished myself, when I’m the one I need to look after first, and then I can look after others. I matter just as much as everyone else.”
— Paula
“Something has definitely changed. I’m not always as calm as I want to be but I know I’m always trying, and I’m much kinder to myself, in part because I truly believe now that I am doing my best and that even when I slip up, I’m not doing anything truly terrible.”
— Vicky
If you are desperate to...
No longer parent like your parents, stop history repeating itself and break the dysfunctional family patterns to which you were exposed as a child…
Free yourself from the guilt, anger and suffocating sense of duty that overshadows your relationship with your parents…
No longer feel like the black sheep of the family and to be your authentic self without feeling shame…
Stop addictive habits and destructive behaviours that serve as short-term coping mechanisms but create long-term misery…
Learn to love yourself instead of relying on external validation and to no longer care what others think or say about you…
Stop worrying that you are a bad role model and passing on your trauma (feeling constantly angry, anxious or resentful towards your kids and partner)…
Feel truly ‘seen’ by your partner and genuinely connected to them…
Learn how to re-prioritise and communicate your needs in your relationships without resorting to anger or threats…
Confidently ring fence regular self-care time so that you can feel creative and joyful again…
Set healthy boundaries around what feels nourishing and draining so that you feel grounded and safe rather than volatile and on edge…
...then Making Peace With Your Past is for you.
Pay In Full
one-time payment
£599
You receive instant and lifetime access to:
The Programme: 10 self-paced, content-packed modules drip-fed over 2 months - be guided through an intense, cognitive and deeply-embodied healing process to a place of loving self-acceptance and authentic connection with your parents, kids and partner.
The Live Support: 2 x live, group coaching, support calls a month*.
The Private Community: A moderated, private, member's-only, community platform that creates a safe container for compassionate, peer-to-peer support as you navigate your way through the programme.
(*subject to demand and scheduling requirements).
Payment Plan
3 monthly payments of
£205
You receive instant and lifetime access to:
The Programme: 10 self-paced, content-packed modules drip-fed over 2 months - be guided through an intense, cognitive and deeply-embodied healing process to a place of loving self-acceptance and authentic connection with your parents, kids and partner.
The Private Community: A moderated, private, member's-only, community platform that creates a safe container for compassionate, peer-to-peer support as you navigate your way through the programme.
After completing all 3 payments, you will receive access to:
The Live Support: 2 x live, group coaching, support calls a month*.
(*subject to demand and scheduling requirements).
Go from reactivity, anger and anxiety, to calm, presence and joy in 3-transformative steps...
Acknowledging Your Trauma
Understand why you are the way that you are and how the way that you were parented is unconsciously affecting how you show up in your relationships and parenting…
Laying Foundations (Module 1)
Through two beautiful rituals, anchor in why you are here: set healing intentions for yourself (what you want to receive from this programme and what you need to bring in order to create success) and make sacred promises to your children. Learn how the effects of developmental/attachment trauma are showing up in your life (even if your past was also happy and positive) and hear my reasons for being here, via my own journey from self-loathing to self-love.
You Are Not Your Parents (Module 2)
Explore how your childhood and the way in which your parents brought you up has affected the way in which you relate to yourself, to the world, and how you relate to others (including your partner and children). Identify unconscious beliefs, values, judgements, coping mechanisms and fears that you inherited and how these play out in your view of yourself as both a ‘good’ and ‘bad’ mama. Find wholeness in your mother role with a balancing ritual that acknowledges how both sides serve you, and are equally welcome.
Processing Emotions (Module 3)
Identify which emotions you unconsciously judge yourself for feeling, your current go-to coping mechansims (how these relate to your parents and how these might not be serving you) as well as learning a healthy, sustainable alternative in the form of ‘reparenting’ your inner child.
Facing Fears (Module 4)
Explore the six most common forms of resistance that naturally arise as part of your healing journey (such as inherited cultural, familial or religious taboos, misplaced loyalty, or the biological wiring that ensures that a part of you views your parents a certain way) and learn how to overcome these.
Healing Your Trauma
Truly accept your parents and enjoy a more authentic, meaningful relationship with them as an adult, through releasing old, stuck grief and anger from your childhood and relying on your inner parent to meet your emotional needs…
Prioritising Nurture (Module 1)
Identify both what you feel and need in any given moment, learn to communicate that effectively and ask for support in meeting it, as well as practising micro-dosing daily nuggets of nourishment in order to counterbalance this deep innerwork.
The Mother Imprint (Module 2)
Explore the legacy of your mother* not being there for you in the ways that you needed her to be: the effects on you growing up, as well as now as an adult (in your parenting, intimate relationships and self-regard), and how to clear this in order to show up as the mama, partner and woman that you want to be.
The Father Imprint (Module 3)
Explore the legacy of your father* not being there for you in the ways that you needed him to be: the effects on you growing up, as well as now as an adult (in your parenting, intimate relationships and self-regard), and how to clear this in order to show up as the mama, partner and woman that you want to be.
(*mother/father refers to the primary caregiver who most resembled this 'archetype' in your life)
Triggers, Integrating Painful Memories & Staying Grounded (Module 4)
Use what causes a disproportionate reaction to signpost the unprocessed wounds and unhelpful self-limiting beliefs from your past that need healing, learn how to integrate painful memories in somatic ways with the support of your inner parent, and discover 19 physical, mental and emotional tools to either calm you down or discharge unwanted energy when you are feeling triggered.
Beyond Your Trauma
Acknowledge the impact of your inner work journey on your future physical health, anchor in your newfound acceptance (of yourself and others) and make peace with your past!
Your Legacy (Module 1)
Recognise the physical effects of the challenges of your childhood on your body (including your pre-innerwork ACE score), learn to work with nervous tics or habits by seeing them as pointers to your deeper emotional needs in any given moment, and anchor in future resilience through a beautiful ritual acknowledging past and current tools, resources and the supportive people in your life.
Integration (Module 2)
Consolidate and celebrate your insights, learnings and growth on this journey with a symbolic closing ritual preparing you for a new chapter of your life that is calm, conscious, confident and capable!
Explore how Making Peace With Your Past can support you, in a complimentary, 45-minute discovery session.
More Mama Success Stories
“Since doing the work, I am able to see some space before reacting, not yet always able to change course, but I am able to see some space. As a result, I am hardly ever triggered by my kids’ behaviour now! My biggest learning was how to process my reactivity on my own. I now have some skills to use in the moment and also skills to process things that need a more intentional approach.”
— Andrea
“I’ve noticed a big improvement in my relationships with my parents, especially my mom. It feels like there’s been an elephant in the room for years, and it’s finally gone. This past weekend my whole immediate family came over for my daughter’s birthday party. It was the first time we have all been together in 3 years, and normally I would have been a ball of stress but it was actually great. This gives me some hope for the holidays!”
— Julia
“Thank you for this work. I’m really enjoying each and every moment with my son now. I’m not saying I’m a perfect mother but I think that my healing has broken the cycle of passing on the pain to the next generation.”
— Jyoti
“Your resources have helped me so much and I look forward to continuing on this journey in which I feel incredibly seen and understood by your words. A sincere and loving thank you.”
— Meagan
“I'm using your tools all of the time, they're an absolute life saver while anxiety is high. I feel proud of being able to be a better mother in this way. I'm so happy I found you and enjoy following everything you do.”
— Julie
Are you ready to...
Journey deep into what makes you YOU, why you are the way that you are, and how to release whatever is no longer in alignment with who you want to be?
Explore how past experiences, inherited beliefs and unconscious family patterns have contributed to your low self-worth and lack of self-belief, and how this is holding you back from sharing your full self with the world?
Learn how to feel safe enough to release the fears that you have embodied since childhood, and how to reintegrate the parts of you that you have judged or rejected as unacceptable?
Pay In Full
one-time payment
£599
You receive instant and lifetime access to:
The Programme: 10 self-paced, content-packed modules drip-fed over 2 months - be guided through an intense, cognitive and deeply-embodied healing process to a place of loving self-acceptance and authentic connection with your parents, kids and partner.
The Live Support: 2 x live, group coaching, support calls a month*.
The Private Community: A moderated, private, member's-only, community platform that creates a safe container for compassionate, peer-to-peer support as you navigate your way through the programme.
(*subject to demand and scheduling requirements).
Payment Plan
3 monthly payments of
£205
You receive instant and lifetime access to:
The Programme: 10 self-paced, content-packed modules drip-fed over 2 months - be guided through an intense, cognitive and deeply-embodied healing process to a place of loving self-acceptance and authentic connection with your parents, kids and partner.
The Private Community: A moderated, private, member's-only, community platform that creates a safe container for compassionate, peer-to-peer support as you navigate your way through the programme.
After completing all 3 payments, you will receive access to:
The Live Support: 2 x live, group coaching, support calls a month*.
(*subject to demand and scheduling requirements).
Explore how Making Peace With Your Past can support you, in a complimentary, 45-minute discovery session.
I’m Lavinia and I’m...
a strong, loving and non-judgemental guide who will support you to explore, process and heal both the painful episodes of your life as well as as the parts of you that were wounded by them, so that you can finally leave it all behind.
a caring and compassionate listener who understands what you are going through because I have gone through it all myself.
a fellow mother who takes a no-nonsense, fun and sometimes irreverent approach to adulting (with a few swear words thrown in).
a spiritual seeker who believes: that the universe has your back, that things happen for a reason, that we co-create our own reality, that we live more than once in different body suits and that our personal and sacred connection to Nature is our biggest self-care tool.
a feminist who is passionate about women no longer feeling mistrust or competitive of each other, physically or emotionally intimidated by men, or scared of being silenced, shamed or ridiculed for authentically taking up space.
an idealist who supports mamas to stop feeling pressured to emulate an impossible feminine archetype and instead to feel confident and courageous enough to reveal their imperfectly perfect selves to the world with pride.
an intense, sometimes contradictory but an always radically honest Virgoan, recovering-perfectionist, who is trying to be the best mama, partner, coach, friend and human that she can be.
Frequently Asked Questions
Programme and Content
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My work is most relevant to primary caregivers who identify as women and the programme content is designed with them in mind.
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I totally understand if you have specific concerns or questions about the programme that need answering before you feel that you can fully commit.
This is why I offer a free, 45-minute discovery session so that we can explore, together, if the programme is the next best step for you. Book this here.
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It is very common not to remember much of your past when you first embark upon your healing journey - your inner child probably doesn’t feel safe enough to go there. However, as she starts to feel more held and loved, and as she starts to trust the process, you should gradually be able to access (and process) more and more childhood memories.
Even if this doesn’t happen, it’s not a disaster. Because this work focuses on your emotions to clear past trauma, rather on than specific memories.
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Yes. Because however happy your childhood was overall, it is impossible that your parents were superhuman enough to be there to meet every single one of your emotional needs at every stage of your development.
Part of the process of becoming the parent that you want to be lies in examining your dynamic with each of your own parents in order to acknowledge (and then heal) the ways in which they weren’t there for you in the way that you needed them to be.
There are a great many potential blocks that can prevent us from doing this, which is why this topic forms the content of an entire module.
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Yes. We will be working together to support you to heal the memories of how your parents treated you as a child/adolescent/young adult rather than focusing on the relationship you have with your parents now.
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No. This is always an option if you feel called to do this but it is absolutely not necessary and not a required step in the healing process of this programme.
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Yes absolutely. We work with the mother imprint and the father imprint which refer to whichever primary caregiver most closely fitted this archetype as you were growing up. Neither needs to be limited to just one person.
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The programme is set up to support you to heal your dynamic with your parents – in the past and in the present. As you do this work, some find it easier to create some space between themselves and their parents in order to process the past without any outside influence, whereas others continue their relationship without any changes.
Everyone integrates their wounds in different ways and part of this work is finding out what feels most nourishing to you (at every step of the way). Your relationship with your parents may well look different at the end of the programme than it did at the beginning but the goal is for this new dynamic to be based on a more authentic and meaningful connection than you had before and for you finish with a greater acceptance of yourself and of your parents than you have ever felt.
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In terms of content, there is no difference! All of my coaching and healing tools (gathered over many years of personal and professional exposure to developmental trauma) are included in this programme. Over the course of the 10 modules, I teach you how to heal yourself using the same cognitive and somatic processes that we would use if you were a private client. This means there is also no difference in terms of the results you will get.
The differences lie in the energy and format of the approach.
With Making Peace With Your Past, the two, monthly, live, support calls are open to the entire healing community. And if you have never done inner work in a group setting before, you are in for such a treat!
A group magnetises whatever is going on for you, and speeds up your healing process because you are held by the power of a cohort of strong, open and incredibly supportive heart-led women who are feeling exactly the same way as you: they want to clear their ancestral baggage so that they don’t pass on their trauma to their kids, they want to feel safe enough to connect meaningfully with their partners and they want to feel strong and capable enough to be who they want to be.
In a community setting, when you heal, everyone heals; when someone else heals, you heal too. So everything is intensified in a wonderful and deeply powerful way.
Format-wise, Making Peace With Your Past is a more experiential process than working with me as a private client. There are multiple rituals and ceremonies to support you to truly embody your healing and connect to your process in both a physical and emotional way, which speeds up your transformation.
Unlike private client work, which can be broader in its application, the signature online programme is laser-focused on the core of my work: the mother imprint, father imprint and inner child, and goes very deep to disentangle you from unconscious patterns that have been running in the background for decades.
It follows a carefully curated, strategic path that will enable you to get the results you want in the shortest space of time - taking you from a place of unconscious awareness of how you have merged with your parents to conscious individuation, and clarity around the kind of mother and partner you want to be, having acquired the new tools to achieve this.
Live Group Coaching Support Calls
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Each session will be recorded and sent to you within 24 hours. They will be available for one month from the date of the live so that you can benefit from the healing insights that take place, even though you weren’t there. Here’s what one mama had to say about them:
“So sorry for missing the call this week as I love them! But I really enjoyed listening to the recording, thank you - very insightful and helpful. I loved you explaining about the inner parent being at the bedside, listening and supporting - it had me tearing up! Lovely stuff.”
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I work hard to create a safe environment in which all participants feel held and supported enough to share freely about whatever is coming up for them during their healing process. Disruptions can affect the efficacy of this energetic container so it’s highly recommended that you show up a few minutes early in order to be fully present at the start of the session, and stay until the very end.
Of course, if there is an emergency, you must do what you need to do. If, however, you know in advance that you are likely to need to leave half way through a session or that you will be very late, it is best to listen to the recording sent within 24 hours of the live session so as not to disturb the flow.
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Yes! The two, live, monthly calls are for any and all requests for support, coaching insights, celebrations or issues. I will be holding space for a whole hour and meeting you energetically wherever you need me to be. Remember that the other mamas in the community are on exactly the same journey as you, so you might well find that someone else voices exactly the question that you hadn’t even yet realised that you had!
In terms of feeling afraid of being vulnerable in front of strangers, this is completely normal. Everyone feels the same way. And all of your emotions are welcome. Sharing is completely optional and you set your own healing pace. Indeed, learning how and why it is a good idea to be led by your inner child and how safe she feels, rather than gaslighting her into voicing her feelings, or needs is a big part of your healing journey. My goal is to support you with this new relationship by creating the strongest, most powerful container for your inner child to relax into - and I’ve been told it’s what I do really well.
For example, here’s what another mama had to say about calls: “I was surprised by how emotional I was during the course. I don’t have a problem crying in front of others and I would not describe myself as stoic, but I really let it all hang out a few times. I was surprised by how safe I felt with Lavinia and the other women to not only feel very deep feelings but also to share them and some of my ugliest thoughts.”
Another mama said the following: “I surprised myself the most by how vulnerable I could be. I expected to be more of an observer and l ended up being more of a participant because I felt safe to do so.”
Please know that the Making Peace With Your Past community will be kept small and intimate at all times in order that it remains safe. Within a short space of time, you will get to know the other mamas and they will no longer feel like strangers but more like soul sisters!
Payment Options
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Absolutely! You can pay via direct debit in 3 separate installments over 3 months and get access to the first module straight away!
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Yes – I use a system that takes your card details and does it all for you!
Unsure if Making Peace with Your Past is right for you?
Whatever your specific fears, concerns or questions might be, I am here for you - book a free, 45-minute discovery session to explore how this signature, holistic, healing programme can support you.