I Was Feeling Unable To Cope With Parenting

When we first connected, I was struggling with low mood, emotional dysregulation whilst looking after my children, and feeling unable to cope with parenting.

I felt stuck because everything I was trying to make things better was not working (eg Gentle Parenting books, Non-Violent Resistance Communication, Triple P Parenting programme).

I had not worked with a coach before and anticipated that the work would be strength-focused and positive, which it was. After our first session, I felt less anxious and continued to feel hopeful.

The ‘inner parent’ work and self-care practice has helped me to calm my nervous system overall which has meant that I am not experiencing as frequent or intense episodes of emotional dysregulation as I was prior to this.

I was surprised by how hard it was to write the letter to my mother in my journal - I experienced a lot of resistance and found it extremely distressing despite having spoken about my childhood many times previously (in therapy, with my husband and with close friends).

I thought that I would be well-prepared for this kind of work as a result, but this process helped me to come to a new degree of acceptance for the violent emotional abuse and neglect that I experienced.

My biggest learning is that there is no 'quick fix' and that whilst this coaching has been invaluable in helping me develop skills to manage my emotional dysregulation, my difficulties will be ongoing and I will have to keep working at managing them.

~ Astrid Lawner, psychiatrist & mama, UK