I Felt Alone In A Fog Of Pain And Fear

When we first connected, I was struggling after losing my marriage, my father and my relationship with my sister. I was mourning loss in multiple ways and felt completely alone in a fog of pain and fear. I felt broken, and had a sliver of hope that Lavinia could help me out of the overwhelming emotional hole I found myself in.

After our first session (which was mostly spent by me crying uncontrollably), she spoke of past traumas, and how I had been holding on to them.  

She gave me hope. Hope that she could give me the tools and that I could learn things to help myself and have her support to get past the feelings that had consumed me until then.  

By miracle, my husband and I came together again. And since then, we have been more communicative with each other. I let go of a lot of unhealthy baggage and surprised myself by being able to move forward without my family.  

Before coaching, I lived exclusively for others (including my children) and along the way, had lost my sense of me. But I learned that I don't need to listen to other people’s expectations of what I should be doing to please them.  

I still need to use my new tools to move forwards sometimes. But I've learned to sit with my emotions and not run away from them. 

The biggest thing I learned was where my feelings and emotions come from. Things that I had been through as a child, behaviors and patterns that I didn't even know were repeating themselves, and ways in which I had mirrored them in my adult life. Illuminating! 

I think the coaching series was absolutely great value and I'm grateful that I was in a position to do it. The tools gave me insight and different ways to work with my emotions in future. I will be reusing them later as life always has turns and twists but for now, my fear no longer takes complete control and runs rampant. 

Lavinia was like a friend who not only listened but gave me guidance to follow. She helped me to trust where I wanted to go even though no one else supported me. As a result, I found trust in me instead of following advice (albeit well-intentioned) that went against my heart. Lavinia was my advocate.  

 ~ Samantha Elsey-Conaway, mama, USA