I Had No Real Boundaries In My Relationships
When I first met Lavinia I was struggling in all aspects of life, I had lost my way and was finding it difficult to stay calm and regulated when my kids came to me with the ups and downs of life. I had no real boundaries in many of my relationships, and this was leading to burn out. I was also in a cycle of arguing and making up with my partner.
Before our first session together, I was completely defeated. I felt very anxious (to the point where I was just getting by), I was constantly people pleasing in order to ‘manage’ this anxiety and I was caught in that vicious cycle. I was very sad and had totally lost any sense of self.
Since coaching, my life is completely different! Of course, there are still days where I am not feeling great and show up in neither a regulated nor a calm way, but these are rare. Now, I have a strong sense of who I am, I have established very healthy boundaries and my people pleasing has stopped.
I feel alot more confident in my decision making and all the second guessing of myself has stopped, I am calmer (most of the time!) with the kids, and I am able to resist the urge to jump in and solve their problems for them.
What surprised me the most during the series was the impact childhood experiences can have on your life and how, without healing these and releasing the pain associated with them, finding peace is impossible.
My biggest learning was how strong I am, and how I had the answers within me all along – I just needed a safe space and a guiding hand to find them (which Lavinia provided).
In the past I hadn’t had the goal-focused piece, and had got stuck in a cycle of just rehashing the same old pain and experiences without the momentum to move onwards from it. This was what the psychodynamic therapy part of the coaching gave me and that was worth anything to me, so I saved up for a number of months in order to work with Lavinia. If I was richer I would be still be working with her now!
I will forever be grateful for this experience. She has a gift – there is no other way to explain it Thank you xx
~ Cathriona O’Keefe, mama, Ireland