I Was Throwing Things, Yelling & Slamming Doors

When we first connected, I was feeling out of control, both in my body and with my reactions. I was losing it constantly and it felt horrendous – I was throwing things, yelling, slamming doors, and feeling and acting so angry. I was struggling with having any kind of consistent positive bond with my daughter, and I was so sad about that.

I needed support in helping me learn to settle myself and to calm myself down, and I needed help understanding that it really is OK to feel those feelings, but not to act on them.

Before our first session together, I felt undone and a mess but through the inner parent work, I began to feel stronger and more capable, like I didn't always need to fall apart.

Since coaching, I still get big feelings, but these are not as upsetting somehow. I find there is a space in my ability to respond to stress, whereas before it was like a time-bombing waiting to explode.

My relationship with my daughter has improved so much and I can tell she feels happier and safer. My relationship with myself is really something new - I like myself more, I respect myself more and I feel more capable of handling life challenges and parenting stressors. I can manage myself much better and I have increased confidence because I never thought I could do it!

I surprised myself the most during the series by showing that I can do it! It always seemed as though I would HAVE to struggle through stress and pain, and now I realize that I can still feel negative feelings without having them overpower my ability to act how I want to act. I am stronger than I thought.

My biggest learning was also that I can do it! It still feels shocking that after 40 years of life, I'm learning to cope and self-regulate. With a kinder, gentler, more loving voice towards myself, I realize that I spent my life hating myself for not being able to do what seems like a given for most people - having the ability to deal with and work with my emotions and CHOOSE how to react/respond, not feeling like something had taken over and I was along for the raging ride.

I think that the coaching series was indeed good value, given what I got out of it, because I am privileged and can afford it, and feeling more in control of my body and feeling less rage surge through my body is priceless for me.

Thank you so much, Lavinia for doing this work with compassion and gentle kindness.

~ Blaire Lipton, stay-at-home mama, USA