I Disliked Myself

When we first connected, I was anxious and unhappy in my relationships with my parents and my husband. I felt I had no power over my reactions to triggering situations (with my kids, husband, and parents), I was lacking boundaries, and ultimately disliked myself. Mostly, I just felt very stuck, confused, and bogged down by my feelings. 

I felt nervous before our first session - I had never worked with a coach before - but knew that I was taking a necessary step in the right direction and was excited about diving into the work.  

Since coaching, I feel very different and think I’ve made some really important choices that have changed how I spend my energy and how I perceive my world.  

I feel more self-assured, empathetic, and patient. And for the first time ever, I really like myself and feel deserving of love and eager to give love in a way that I think I was closed off to prior to this experience.  

I think my interactions with my kids are somewhat the same but I don’t carry a lot of the guilt and doubt that I did before. If I get something wrong, I’m better equipped to acknowledge it, explore why, forgive myself and move on.  

I now feel incredibly grateful to be alive and I’m willing to face my deepest darkest fears whilst feeling confident that I am enough and I will be okay. 

I surprised myself the most during our coaching by realizing that I actually really like journaling (having always loathed it in the past) and it’s now become a source of calm, clarity and release for me! 

My biggest learning was that my inner child is very much a part of me. I know now that she’s always with me but that she doesn’t need to be running my life - I can acknowledge my inner child with love and acceptance and I can assure her that she’s safe and always worthy of love.  

The other part of this learning was recognizing that everyone has an inner child and acts out from that space for much of the time. I now realize that I can give other people the love and acceptance that they too deserve without this meaning that I have to compromise my own boundaries nor what feels safe and nourishing to me.  

In other words, I have learnt that I can simultaneously hold love and compassion for someone at the same time that I am holding boundaries with them, because that may be how I need to nourish, respect, and protect my own inner child. 

~ Sarah Griot, pediatric registered nurse & mama, USA