I Needed To Reclaim My Focus Away From My Parents

Before coaching, I was really struggling with the trauma responses behind my interactions and reactions with my mum, especially around parenting my children. I really needed support in reclaiming my attention and focus away from old patterns with my parents and putting this towards my own family. 

I hadn't ever worked with a coach before and my main expectation was a hope that I'd be able to move beyond and past my past. I’d heard of Lavinia's work on the "Unruffled" podcast (about gentle/respectful parenting) and was hoping I could experience a similar healing to the person featured in it.  

Before our first session together, I felt the familiar worry about stepping into vulnerability but the coaching was so matter-of-fact and so accepting that this worry quickly vanished. 

It's hard to remember what my life felt like before coaching but basically, everything has improved!  

I did not believe, before I began, that I could heal from my past and my charged interactions with my mother. I hoped I could, it was my goal, but the tumult that those wounds had caused in my life felt as much a part of me as my eye colour.  

Now, however, I am someone who operates in the present, who takes time to feel and honor my feelings and who is proud of how I interact with my kids and partner. None of this was true before coaching. 

What most surprised me about the process was having doubts or being skeptical about my action items but doing them anyway and seeing just how transformative they had been. Sometimes the effect was imperceptible but over time they added up to total change (not ‘perfection’ but an honest life worth living and passing onto my kids). 

My biggest learning was how transformative the truth is: when I'd write letters allowing all of my real feelings out - censoring nothing - I would move beyond whatever hurt I was feeling. I would never have believed that it could be that simple but then again, I never realized how much emotional censorship I was living under. 

The coaching was without a doubt good value and I found it a truly wonderful experience. If anyone is considering it, just do it. Your authentic life is on the other side waiting for you. Do the work and then live it! 

  ~  Claire Brakel Packer, online student support specialist & mama, USA